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episode 91: Measuring tape awareness day

This episode… it fought back, I tell you what. But we finally wrangled it into some sort of shape. I’mma go with “parallelogram,” because it looks like it’s about to fall over, but it’s a shape, anyway.

We meant to get this out when we were still in the throes of the holiday season, but hey, it’s Winnie the Pooh Day, and I reckon that’s worth celebrating. It’s also National Michigan day, soooooo, go, Michigan, I guess.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

  • Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
  • Lee Shackleford as Pluto
  • for the last time, Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise and Ben
  • Eric Perry as Howard, Joe, and Dr von Haber Zetzer
  • Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily
  • Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie
  • Kevin Hall as Greg
  • David S Dear as Dr Theo Bromae
  • Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna
  • Sarah Rhea Werner as Pipistrelle
  • Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
  • Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2, and
  • Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator

Our music is by John Faley, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott (keep an eye out for Spy Grandma, coming from Simon & Schuster in Spring 2026!). Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor. Sound designer of this colossal mess is Shanon Perry. Oz 9 is written – apparently in her sleep – by that same Shannon Perry, which explains a lot.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network! Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors.

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episode 90: Science makes me affectionate

It’s episode 90! And that’s the best thing we can say about it.

There’s a lot of sampling of condiments. Word of warning: don’t get between (former) Cpt. Jessie and the cheese sauce, or lives may be lost.

Also, we found a crate of “blight piston bottles.” Anyone know what those are good for?

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

  • Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
  • Bonnie Brantley as former Captain Jessie and Lady Nibble Biscuit
  • David S. Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae
  • Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie
  • Eric Perry as Dr von Haber Zetzer and Joe
  • Shannon Perry as Captain Madeline and Olivia
  • Kevin Hall as Greg
  • Tim Sherburn as Colin
  • Sarah Rhea Werner as Pipi
  • Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2, and
  • Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator

Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners at fableandfolly.com/partners, and check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at fableandfolly.com.

Happy new year, ya crazy Space Monkeys. Keep your eyes on the skies and buy yourself something pretty at one of our merch shops: https://oz-9.com/supportus/

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episode eighty-nine: Adorable and very merchandisable

It’s nearly Christmas as I type this, and I’m bah humbugging like your least favorite neighbor, but throwing out an episode of Oz 9 always makes me happy. I like making the world just a little bit goofier and more confusing.

We have some additions to our ship today, and they are stupid cute in the manner of those “got my kid a puppy” videos that are all over the socials, only these might make you cry for entirely different reasons. But we’ll see, I guess; they don’t have many teeth yet.

Anything else I should mention? Oh yeah: happy hols, Space Monkeys. You’re the biggest bunch of goofballs this galaxy has ever seen (and I’m talking about the galaxy with DNA’s Hooloovoos in it, so you know it’s seen some things), but we love you.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to…

  • Bonnie Brantley as Jessie
  • Tim Sherburn as Colin
  • Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie
  • Eric Perry as Joe
  • Kevin Hall as Greg
  • Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
  • Shannon Perry as Olivia.
  • Kyle Jones is your Narrator Two, and
  • Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator 

Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. “Into the Swamp” was composed and performed by Thomas Golding. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners at fableandfolly.com/partners, and check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at fableandfolly.com.

Until next time, Space Monkeys, watch the stars and try to understand the mustard.

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Thanksgiving Bonus: Take the planet

It’s Thanksgiving, Oz 9 style, which means the only thing anyone has to be grateful for is surviving it.

If you’ve ever wondered about the origin of stuffing, well, we have a theory for you. Also, were you aware you speak fluent Klep? It’s true. And you didn’t even have to practice. Take THAT, Duolingo.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

  • Bonnie Brantley as Jessie, Donna, and Daisy
  • Eric Perry as Joe and Jay
  • Shannon Perry as Madeline
  • Kevin Hall as Greg
  • Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
  • Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2
  • And Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator.

Our music is composed and performed by John Faley; Lucas Elliott creates our artwork. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor. Normally, the super-talented Chrisi Talyn Saje does the sound design, but this time you’re stuck with Shannon Perry, who also penned this mess.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Be sure to check out all the great shows at fableandfolly.com.

See you next time, space monkeys. Happiest of holiday seasons, if and however you celebrate.

From yer ever-lovin’,

Crew

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episode eighty-eight: A hairball in your haggis

We turned five years old yesterday. The podcast, I mean — Oz 9 just turned 5. How we’ve lasted that long, we have no idea, but we suspect it has something to do with the fact that everyone is slightly fried from the pandemic and not giving real life 100% of their attention just now. And that’s cool. Real life can be a bit of a turd on a hot plate now and again, so suspending reality right alongside disbelief seems like a healthy decision.

All of which to say, thanks for hanging out with us. Gravity — both the being-serious kind and the falling-down kind — is not something we handle well. You clearly don’t either, and we’re happy you chose to unfurl your freak flag across the nose of the 9.

High five, space monkey. We wouldn’t be here without you. And the healer pod.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

  • Kevin Hall as Greg
  • David S Dear as Doctor Theo Bromae
  • Bonnie Brantley as Jessie
  • Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline
  • Tim Sherburn as Colin
  • Eric Perry as Dr von Haber Zetzer
  • Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
  • Kyle Jones is Narrator Two and
  • Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator

Our music is composed and performed by John Faley; Lucas Elliott creates our artwork.

Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound engineer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please support our partners here: https://fableandfolly.com/partners/. And be sure to check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at https://fableandfolly.com/.

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episode eighty-six: Spike the Gargling Cow

Continuing in our endeavor to educate the public, much of the cowboy vernacular here is authentic. Well, some of it. “Brown gargle,” for example, is totally legit. Should it come up on Jeopardy at some point, we expect compensation.

The crew continue to explore the Oz 9, sometimes voluntarily. We know these stupid sandwich machines are trying to tell us something, but knowing that and actually understanding what that “something” is are two different things, and let’s face it, this bunch have only just managed speech.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to

  • Tim Sherburn as Colin
  • Bonnie Brantley as Jessie
  • David S Dear as Dr Theo Bromae
  • Kevin Hall as Greg
  • Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
  • J Michael DeAngelis as Clyde the cowboy
  • Introducing Pete Barry as … never mind — WAS the bartender
  • Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2, and
  • Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator

Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. Thomas Golding composed and performed the additional ragtime music for this episode.

Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott (who also did our COMIC BOOK and our cool pin set!! https://oz9podcast.etsy.com). Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Find this and all our episode transcripts on our website, https://oz-9.com.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners here: https://fableandfolly.com/partners/. And be sure to check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at https://fableandfolly.com/.

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episode eighty-seven: Why does the mustard matter?

Remember those days, hanging out at the mall, thinking Spencer’s Gifts was the height of counter-culture because they had festive roach clips? Yeah, me neither. I spent all my time at Waldenbooks.

Anyway, get ready for a trip backwards in time to the mall. I can almost smell the Orange Julius and Cinnabon (which reminded me that I made coffee that was currently cooling in the other room, dammit. I’m back now) and hear the yelps as another pre-teen gets their ears pierced at Claire’s.

There’s a very confused security guard -slash-sommelier, some moaning, and somebody ends up with an earring in their forehead. (Now taking bets on who THAT turns out to be.)

TRANSCRIPT

Because you haven’t got the sense nature gave a goat, you’ve been listening to:

  • Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie
  • Sarah Rhea Werner as Pipistrelle
  • Eric Perry as Joe
  • Aaron Clark as Le Bichon Frise
  • Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
  • Lee Shackleford as Pluto
  • introducing the Narrator’s kiddo, Michaela Nadolny Gourley as Emma, the Counter Girl and
  • John Dowgin of Mission: Rejected as Cyril the Security Guy.
  • Kyle Jones is Narrator Two, and
  • Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator

Our music is composed and performed by John Faley; Lucas Elliott creates our artwork. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners here: https://fableandfolly.com/partners/. And be sure to check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at https://fableandfolly.com/.

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episode 85: Dirty, greasy oligarchs

Exploring the Oz 9 isn’t like exploring brave new worlds in the manner of highly questionable colonialists of eras past. Except for the alligators. And the swampy bits. Also not knowing what’s safe to eat (hint: not bloody much). And the near-fatal encounters on a daily basis. 

OK, so it’s actually quite a bit like exploring brave new worlds, except for the bravery.

Just… listen to the episode. Try to stay out of the quagmires, and if you do get quagged, at least wipe your feet before you go wandering around the ship. 

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to…

Eric Perry as Joe
Bonnie Brantley as Lady Nibble Biscuit and Jessie
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
Special thanks to J Michael DeAngelis from Mission: Rejected for taking on the role of The Cowboy.
Kyle Jones is Narrator 2, and
Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator.

Special special thanks to Thomas Golding for the Ragtime music in our Old Time Western bar!

Our theme music is by John Faley, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrissy Talyn Saje sound designed this episode.

Be sure to join us next time as the mystery of the ketchup pen is finally solved! Maybe.

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HIATUS : That slice of Joe Pye-Weed pie

I tell ya, you turn your back for, like, three months, and someone just shoulders their way in there and takes over your ship, your characters… sheeesh.

ANYWAY, if you’re familiar with A Ninth World Journal or Deconstructive Criticism, you’ve already enjoyed the work of our own Dr. Theo Bromae, better known as David S. Dear.

In this bonus episode, he gives us a glimpse of life behind the curtain. And in front of the toilet door COME ON ALREADY SOME OF US HAD RICE KUDZPIES AT SNACKTIME.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

Tim Sherburn as Colin
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie
Shannon Perry as Madeline
Kevin Hall as Greg
David S. Dear as himself
Kyle Jones as Narrator 2 and
Chris Nadolny Gourley as your Narrator

Our music is by John Faley; our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Typically, Sarah Golding is our dialog editor, and Oliver Morris is our sound designer, but you have Shannon Perry to blame for those this time. This episode of Oz-9 was written by David S. Dear.

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