Note: Some old records were discovered in the depths of the Oz 9’s memory storage. Dating back to just before the launch of the fleet of Oz 8000-model ships, these records contain much that was previously unknown not only about the Oz 9 but also about many of its sister ships. We apologize for some of the language contained herein, some of it vulgar, much of it wildly inaccurate, most of it just … dumb.

 

 

Captain’s Blog #1: Madeline Marks, Oz 9

I think I’m supposed to add some kind of date, but I have no idea what day it is. Tuesday? So, stardate whatever the heck it is, I guess.

Launch is still several months away, but there have been rumors of a Senate hearing on the whole Oz program, so that may delay us. There was some sort of investigation, and people in lab coats came out and stared at the ships for a few minutes. Not sure what that was all about. The ships are totally space-worthy; I saw some dudes adding a new layer of spray paint just this morning. I checked, and yep, the paint is Rust-oleum, so we’re totally ready to go.

I’m pretty sure I saw Jessie James’ name on the invite list for the Captains’ Mixer. As much alcohol as that cow can vacuum up, I hope they’ve quadriplied the whiskey order. Figures she’d get a ship, her sister is terrifying. Also, she studied, which is completely unfair.

Anyway: back to captaining. I saw crews loading up all the reference manuals we’re going to need. Apparently they opted for paper, just in case computers go down or we lose our wifi signal. There was a lot of giggling, which is weird. Manuals are usually pretty boring. Whatever. Maybe these are different and have good cartoons or something.

What else…. uhhhh….. I still haven’t been aboard my ship, the Oz 9. I’ve seen her, though. She’s huge. Like, crazy huge. And a beauty. When I saw the piles of stuff they’re planning to move aboard, I didn’t think it’d all fit, but yeah, that’s not going to be a problem. *Note to self, ask for night vision goggles. Anyway, she’s chonky and gorgeous. I can’t wait to get aboard and start learning to talk with her. 

Eager to meet the crew too. I hear they’re all top-notch. Not that it’ll matter, really; we’ll go into our pods and wake up when we get to a new planet. Which is great, I guess…. kinda wish there was more “captaining” to do, though. 

What is that they’re loading…? I can’t see what’s stamped on the crate… All…. ali? Alig….is that a g? Probably some new-fangled navigation device. Thank jeebus we’ll have manuals!

Uhhhhhh…. out. I guess.

Captain’s Blog #2: Madeline Marks, Oz 9

Captain’s Blog #3: Madeline Marks, Oz 9

Captain’s Blog #4: Madeline Marks, Oz 9

Captain’s Blog #5: Madeline Marks, Oz 9