Tag: audio fiction

episode 96: Why is there a bar on the bridge?

Julie against a background of the Oz 9 ship.

episode 96: Why is there a bar on the bridge?

Published April 7, 2024

I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

Have you ever met a Kestochalian? Actually, you might have. They’re sort of lovely, except when you want to thump them on the snoot. Which, to be fair, is true of a lot of living things. Also my computer. Which, if it had a snoot, would have been thoroughly thumped on today.

ANYWAY, we made something for you, and if you’ve ever made a huge Sunday meal, this is kind of like that. We slaved all day, it’ll be over in 20 minutes, and then we start over. Do I sound crabby? I feel kind of crabby.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie
Kevin Hall as Greg
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna
Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily
Lee Shackleford as Pluto
David S. Dear as Dr Theo Bromae
Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer, Howard, and Joe
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Sarah Rae Werner as Pipistrelle
Kyle Jones as Narrator Two
And Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator

Thanks to Stan Sitzman for the “doffing of gas mask” noise, and Chris Nadolny Gourley for the cocktail umbrella sound!

John Faley is our music director, and our awesome artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Shannon Perry is our sound designer.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network! Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors.

Freesound sounds used in this episode:

Cutting Lemon Or Orange by IENBA — https://freesound.org/s/703058/ — License: Creative Commons 0
thud pint glass beer down on table wood knock door Vows.flac by kyles — https://freesound.org/s/454222/ — License: Creative Commons 0
Charcoal Foley.wav by UlyssesAtSea — https://freesound.org/s/648136/ — License: Creative Commons 0
freezing machine turn on.ogg by kyrika84 — https://freesound.org/s/347428/ — License: Creative Commons 0

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Captain’s blog #3: Madeline Marks, Oz 9

Published March 21, 2024

The activity around my ship has really picked up. So many big boxes are being loaded in, but they won’t show me what’s inside, which feels weird, but one guy said he “doesn’t want to spoil the surprise.” Oooookaaaaay. Still, surprises! Yay!

I’ve caught a couple of glimpses around the edges, and I think it’s mostly familiar stuff to make the humans feel at home on our new planet. Not sure if we’ll be able to make cotton candy right away, but hey, when the time comes, we’ll be ready! What effect does funky gravity have on candy floss?

I’m dying to get in there and explore, but a couple of days ago, they brought a guy out on a stretcher. Apparently he got lost in there and nearly starved, so that’s worrying. They reassured me the ship would be fully sign posted, and we could always call out to the AI for help. PHEW. Forgot about the AI.

More boxes. More giggling. I think I’d feel better about all this if the dudes loading the ship didn’t reek quite so much of pot, Southern Comfort, and Creme de Menthol, or whatever it’s called. Wait…. that’s not right. Cream de Menthol? Whatever.

I did get close enough to put my hand on the ship. They say nothing’s up and running in there, so maybe I was just feeling the vibration of all the stuff being moved in, but I definitely felt something….. like, thirteen beats of hum, then a skip*. And something weird, every now and again, like a giggle. Especially when I moved my hand. Dunno. Maybe the 9 is ticklish.

Oh, just got word that we should alert our crews to be on board tomorrow for a briefing. I think the Senate hearing starts tomorrow too, so maybe they’ll tell us more about that. Whatever, don’t care, I just can’t wait to get in there and start captaining. Where did I put my copy of O Captain My Captain You’re a Captain Now?

Outies,
MM

*Merci, ButteredToastInBed for locating the reference and CoolB for making this easier to read!

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episode 95: Spill or be spilled

Mrs S, Madeline and Colin all appear in black and white against a classic noir detective drama background.

episode 95: Spill or be spilled

Published March 14, 2024

Well, cue the sultry saxophone and the wire-brushed cymbals, we’re back for part II of our “noir” wormhole. We had high hopes for this one (as in, high hopes everyone would get shot and this nightmare would finally be at an end), but we’re only down a tour guide, and even he just seems to have wandered off.

Goldipants Detective Agency is hot on the heels of Red (aka Colin Smith aka Horace MacRory), the millionaire gangster whose morals are as slippery as his accent. Will Pluto and Donna track down the bad guy before we lose any more scientists? Will Mrs S and Donna survive their brush with the Big Bad? Also, what the hell’s a nereid?

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

Lee Shackleford as Pluto
Bonnie Brantley as Donna
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Tim Sherburn as Colin
David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae
Eric Perry as Joe
Kevin Hall as Greg
With special guest Bob Killion as the Admiral
Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator

Many thanks to one of our all-time favorite podcasts, Mission: Rejected, for loaning us the character of the Admiral. If you haven’t already, be sure to add Mission: Rejected to your list on your podcatcher of choice.

Oz 9’s theme music is composed and performed by John Faley; Lucas Elliott creates our artwork. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor. Shannon Perry is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Be sure to check out all the great shows at fableandfolly.com.

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Captain’s blog #2: Madeline Marks, Oz 9

Published March 13, 2024

I’m pretty sure it hasn’t been a whole week since my last post, but Olivia is insisting it’s Tuesday again, so I guess it is. She says it’s leap year and therefore there are some extra Tuesdays, which I’m almost positive isn’t what I was taught in school, but she’s the AI, so we’re going with it.

Got to get a little closer to my ship today. I was checking out the fins – like, should the weight of the ship be resting on those tiny little legs? Then I heard a loud creak and a huge crash, and they really fast put up a bunch of ladders and tarps and that funky police tape, which they said was necessary only because the festive bunting had been stolen last week. An ambulance arrived shortly after, but apparently that was because one of the other captains got so excited about his ship, he passed out and hit his head.

Which I totally get! I mean, she’s huge and gorgeous, and I get a little light headed when I try to see her top. Granted, last week I passed out trying to shake a spider out of my hair, but you get me. Launch date is still pretty loosey goosey, which is such a gross saying. I mean. What happens to a loose goose? Do their necks just give out and flop over and they drown? Or can they breathe underwater….?

I’m off topic. So glad I don’t have to worry about water or birds or any of that stuff any more. I mean, at least until we find our new planet. I can’t wait to do my on-board inspection. I’m gonna wear my shiniest captain’s bars for that one. Dammit, I gotta remember to get some night vision goggles…

Over and out.

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episode 93: A Midsummer Morning After

The Oz 9 ship against a starry sky. Some characters are visible through the windshield.

episode 93: A Midsummer Morning After

Published February 14, 2024

It’s part 2 of this, and then I swear, we’re finished and you can go back to just suspecting how pretentious we are rather than having the receipts.

We know Feb 14 can be a bit rough for some, so we wanted to give you the subtle sounds of barfing fairies to help you get through the day. Just know, we love your goofy, kooky self ALL days of the year.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae
Kevin Hall as Greg
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer
Shannon Perry as Olivia
Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Sarah Rhea Warner as Pipistrelle
Bonnie Brantley as Duckweed, Wooly Sedge, Horsetail, and Cattail.
Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2,
And Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator.

Our music was composed and performed by John Faley, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. The glorious madrigal music you hear at the beginning was created by John Faley and performed by John Faley, Tanya Faley, and Emily Faley.

Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Shannon Perry is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Who will deny it if asked.

The trailer is for a show we love and that is written, produced, and stars our own Julie: Chrisi Talyn Saje. You’ll find Madison On The Air wherever you listen to podcasts.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Be sure to check out our awesome podcast siblings at fableandfolly.com.

We’ll see you next time, Space Monkeys. Keep your eyes on the stars, and if you see Cupid, seriously, tell him to adjust his sash.

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episode 92: A Midsummer Night’s … whatever the hell this is

Published February 4, 2024

As Narrator 2 says in this episode, “English majors must perforce English maj,” so here’s the episode you’ve all been dreading: the Fakespeare. Come on, stop whining, you knew it was coming.

If you’re not familiar with A Midsummer Night’s Dream, well, there are lots of really excellent versions out there. We prefer you NOT listen to those, however, as that’s going to make this seem even more torturous than being read Vogon poetry before being shot into space.

That said, it was fun to write and fun to do, so … get over it. Also, the second half should show up on Feb. 14, a day some folks seem to think is special.

TRANSCRIPT

Thou hast been listening to…

David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae
Kevin Hall as Greg
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer
Shannon Perry as Olivia
Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Sarah Rhea Warner as Pipistrelle
Bonnie Brantley as Duckweed, Wooly Sedge, Horsetail, and Cattail.
Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2,
And Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator.

Our music was writ by John Faley, and our artwork from the fevered brow of Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding our dialogue did edit, and Shannon Perry our sound design’ed. Lamentably, our story of Oz 9, much like the alien of old, did explode from the head of Shannon Perry and wreaketh much havoc upon a space ship. Check out more nonsense at https://oz-9.com.

Know you now that Oz 9 doth hang about with many a rascally and ill-reputed tale amidst the Fable and Folly Network; go thee hence to fableandfolly.com and there beguile your idle hours with true delights.

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episode 91: Measuring tape awareness day

Published January 18, 2024

This episode… it fought back, I tell you what. But we finally wrangled it into some sort of shape. I’mma go with “parallelogram,” because it looks like it’s about to fall over, but it’s a shape, anyway.

We meant to get this out when we were still in the throes of the holiday season, but hey, it’s Winnie the Pooh Day, and I reckon that’s worth celebrating. It’s also National Michigan day, soooooo, go, Michigan, I guess.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
Lee Shackleford as Pluto
for the last time, Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise and Ben
Eric Perry as Howard, Joe, and Dr von Haber Zetzer
Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily
Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie
Kevin Hall as Greg
David S Dear as Dr Theo Bromae
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna
Sarah Rhea Werner as Pipistrelle
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2, and
Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator

Our music is by John Faley, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott (keep an eye out for Spy Grandma, coming from Simon & Schuster in Spring 2026!). Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor. Sound designer of this colossal mess is Shanon Perry. Oz 9 is written – apparently in her sleep – by that same Shannon Perry, which explains a lot.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network! Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors.

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episode 90: Science makes me affectionate

episode 90: Science makes me affectionate

Published January 2, 2024

It’s episode 90! And that’s the best thing we can say about it.

There’s a lot of sampling of condiments. Word of warning: don’t get between (former) Cpt. Jessie and the cheese sauce, or lives may be lost.

Also, we found a crate of “blight piston bottles.” Anyone know what those are good for?

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Bonnie Brantley as former Captain Jessie and Lady Nibble Biscuit
David S. Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae
Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie
Eric Perry as Dr von Haber Zetzer and Joe
Shannon Perry as Captain Madeline and Olivia
Kevin Hall as Greg
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Sarah Rhea Werner as Pipi
Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2, and
Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator

Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners at fableandfolly.com/partners, and check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at fableandfolly.com.

Happy new year, ya crazy Space Monkeys. Keep your eyes on the skies and buy yourself something pretty at one of our merch shops: https://oz-9.com/supportus/

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episode eighty-nine: Adorable and very merchandisable

Published December 17, 2023

It’s nearly Christmas as I type this, and I’m bah humbugging like your least favorite neighbor, but throwing out an episode of Oz 9 always makes me happy. I like making the world just a little bit goofier and more confusing.

We have some additions to our ship today, and they are stupid cute in the manner of those “got my kid a puppy” videos that are all over the socials, only these might make you cry for entirely different reasons. But we’ll see, I guess; they don’t have many teeth yet.

Anything else I should mention? Oh yeah: happy hols, Space Monkeys. You’re the biggest bunch of goofballs this galaxy has ever seen (and I’m talking about the galaxy with DNA’s Hooloovoos in it, so you know it’s seen some things), but we love you.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to…

Bonnie Brantley as Jessie
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie
Eric Perry as Joe
Kevin Hall as Greg
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Shannon Perry as Olivia.
Kyle Jones is your Narrator Two, and
Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator

Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. “Into the Swamp” was composed and performed by Thomas Golding. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners at fableandfolly.com/partners, and check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at fableandfolly.com.

Until next time, Space Monkeys, watch the stars and try to understand the mustard.

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