Apparently the text for “early training” was actually a “get here quick, we gotta go now,” because they just loaded up the crew pods. I could only see them from a distance, but one pod was enormous. It took eight guys and two forklifts to get it in. I heard a weird electronic squeal when they got it aboard. Probably just the overloaded forklift, but it sounded almost human.
Anyway, I guess the Congressional inquiry wrapped up faster than expected, which is great news. Means the ships are spaceworthy and ready to roll! As the captain, I have to pod myself after takeoff. It’s kinda crazy that they want us to pilot ourselves out of Earth’s atmosphere when they’ve got the ships practically on top of each other, but they say we can “draft” each other that way and save fuel.
There are about 30 ships in our launch area, and the combined rumble and thrum of that many engines is incredible. Apparently it’s blowing out windows up to 4 miles away. Oops. Someone’s getting fired! Crap. I hope it’s not me. It can’t be me, can it? I really should start reading the emails they send me.
Hang on. Someone’s waving me over.
(Later)
Holy shizznits, kids, I’M ON BOARD THE NINE! She’s the most beautiful thing I ever saw in my whole life. I mean, the bridge is so new, everything is still covered in bubble wrap (YESSSS!), and I had to use my pocketknife to get rid of the packaging. Even the helm had a strip of paper around it reading, “Sanitized for your safety.” I cut that ribbon like a Mayor at a mall.
I’ve been running through the takeoff protocol, which is on a Post-it note on the arm of my chair. You’d think it’d be a bit more … detailed? But it’s basically “poke this button, poke this button, pull this lever, pray.” “Pray” is unsettling, but I’m getting that G2 has a sense of humor. I just found the “manual,” and it’s in some funky language I don’t speak. Cut ups, man.
As soon as we’re safely out in space, I’ll crawl into my pod and wait for Earth-point-two to appear on our horizon. I hope they remember to take the newspaper off the front window thingy.
Captain out.
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