Category: episodes

It doesn’t get much more trivial than this

It doesn’t get much more trivial than this

Published January 3, 2021

To punish Kevin Hall for having the gall to … something, I can’t remember what it was he did, but for sure he did something really bad to merit this kind of response…. Anyway, maybe just to be mean, we made him relisten to Oz 9, write a bunch of trivia questions, then ask them to four people who between them could barely scrape up an answer to the question of what they had for breakfast on that particular day.

It’s nearly 90 minutes of “uhhhhhh…..” and “hang on, I know I know this one,” and “seriously, Kevin, where are you getting these questions?!” and very few answers, but if you like that sort of thing, it’s good for an occasional laugh.

Seriously, thanks to Kevin for enduring, and for Bryan, Corey, and Jess for being amazing, fantastic sports.

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Diary of a Oz9ivist: Is this a cheese dream?

Published January 3, 2021

What happens when the alien aboard your ship gets hungry?

Usually really gross things involving lots of blood and gore and that, but fortunately for us, the grossest thing in this episode is a small critter popping out of an orifice. Which is actually less gross than it sounds. Wait for it.

The ships of Samantha Lyons and the Oz 9 have stumbled into one another in space, and Leet’s had lots of caffeine, and there’s some dancing.

Our thanks to the glorious Beccy Stirrup, creator, writer, and actor on Diary of a Space Archivist for creating this with us!

Please note that Oz 9 will be taking a brief holiday hiatus and we’ll be back in January of 2021. Happy hols to alls!

TRANSCRIPT

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episode fifty: M’Lady of Little Chadwick upon Bad Patter

Published November 22, 2020

Humans on the receiving end of divine affections don’t do so well, mythologically speaking. However, after having seen Donna in action, the smart money is on the homo sapien. Pluto better watch his gold lamé onesie, if he knows what’s good for him.

With this episode, we are officially halfway through Season 3 of Oz 9, so let’s all take a moment to realize this crew of idiots has managed to survive this long. Well, apart from Matt, that guard in the tunnel, Lady Nibble-Biscuit, the mime, several thousand pod-occupants, 1/3 of Sweden…. never mind.

As this gaggle of ninnies is still out there, do please be careful. Wear your mask, wash your hands, carry Idiot Repellant, and join us for WiFiSciFi on December 6!

FULL TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer, Joe, and Howard
Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie
June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros
David S. Dear as Dr. Theo
Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise and Ben
Kevin Hall as Greg and Tiberius
Richard Cowen as Leet
Iri Alexander as Julie
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Lee Shackleford as Pluto
and Richard Nadolny as your narrator

Our music was composed and performed by John Faley. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry. Our thanks to Just Short of Crazy blog for the image of Pluto.

Our gratitude to the very real town of French Lick, Indiana, for not issuing and cease and desist orders or otherwise objecting to us invading their home. If you are a resident of or have been to French Lick, we’d love to hear from you. Give us a shout at crew@oz-9.com.

Until next time, Space Monkeys!

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episode forty-nine: I’m soft, squishy, and covered in Hollandaise sauce

episode forty-nine: I’m soft, squishy, and covered in Hollandaise sauce

Published November 8, 2020

I’d apologize for this being so late, but if you think about it, I gave you an extra 16-and-a-half Oz-free hours, which is, like, a decade in idiot years.

It’s been a long day aboard the Oz 9. You think bad decision making is easy — Doritos for dinner? Yes, please. Easy! Go for a run or drink chocolate milk with vodka? Vodka. Definitely. Easy! —and yet, it’s exhausting.

So, you’ll get no apology from me, unless I come across one on my way to the couch.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie
Eric Perry as Mr Southers and Dr. Von Haber Zetzer
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Aaron Clark as Ben and le Bichon Frise
Iri Alexander as Julie
June Clark Eubanks as Glenda and the Albatros
David S Dear as Dr Theo and Argus
Shannon Perry as Olivia
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Richard Cowen as Leet
Kevin Hall as Greg
and Richard Nadolny as your Narrator

Our music is composed and performed by John Faley; our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

Take care, space monkeys. Until next time!

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episode forty-eight: Putting the freeze on boogerology

episode forty-eight: Putting the freeze on boogerology

Published October 25, 2020

Remember how there was that one week you were sick or maybe just on vacation but too poor to go anywhere? And you watched daytime TV, and even though you knew it was ridiculous and cheesy, by Friday you were desperate to know if little Suzy really was Armoire’s daughter and if Aristato would find Nectarina in time to stop her from marrying … I don’t know, Ponderosa Jutjaw or whatever?

Just stay with me, this is relevant.

What I’m saying is, it’s totally possible to get swept up in a story, even if the story is kind of nonsense and the characters are slightly less intelligent than waffles.

Don’t believe me? This is episode 48.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

Kevin Hall as Greg
Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise and Ben
Eric Perry as Joe and Mr. Southers
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Iri Alexander as Julie
Tim Sherburn as Buck
Bonnie Brantley as Donna
June Clare Eubanks as Glenda and the Albatros
David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae
Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline, and
guest starring Nikki Richardson as the Gated Galaxies Switchboard Operator.

Our music was composed and performed by John Faley; our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

We love reviews (glowing ones, preferably), so feel free to leave us one on Podchaser, Apple Podcasts, or the podcatcher of your choice.

Until next time, Space Monkeys!

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episode forty-seven: Chasing Lord Lunchable

Published October 11, 2020

What would you do if everything in your garden suddenly attacked you? Carrots shooting themselves at your eyes, radishes nibbling tiny, spicy holes in your ankles, kohlrabi shouting at you, probably in German, given how “kohlrabi” is spelled — does it seem German to you? just me? — and let’s not even talk about what the watermelon is trying to do. I just caught a mosquito with my … nope, there it is again.

Would you ever be able to eat a salad again?

This is vaguely relevant to episode 47, but only sort of. Meanwhile, I’m going to have nightmares about cauliflower.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros and Glenda
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
David S Dear as Dr Theo Bromae
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna
Eric Perry as Joe and Dr. von Haber Zetzer
Richard Cowen as Leet
Kevin Hall as Greg and Felonius
Tim Sherburn as Colin and Buck
Aaron Clark as Ben
Iri Alexander as Julie
Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline
introducing Lee Shackleford as Pluto,
and with Richard Nadolny as your Narrator.

Our music is composed and performed by John Faley. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

Remember, if you enjoy the show, you can support us on Patreon. Until next time, space monkeys!

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episode forty-six: It’s invasion of the body snackers

Published September 27, 2020

Probably the most remarkable thing that happens in this entire episode is that Le Bichon Frise pronounces “assassinate” correctly.

I know. We were pretty shocked too.

It happens at the bottom of page 3, so if you just want to hear that and skip the rest, I don’t suppose anyone would blame you.

Oh, and there’s a bit about a butterfly that’s funny. You might want to stick around for that. And the discount code for the chocolate. That’s never a bad thing.

Up to you.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

Iri Alexander as Julie
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna
Richard Cowen as Leet
June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros and Glenda
Tim Sherburn as Colin and Buck
Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer, Joe, and Mr. Southers
Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise and Ben
Kevin Hall as Greg
Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
and Richard Nadolny as your Narrator

Our music is composed and performed by John Faley. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry. Our thanks to sponsor Intrigue Chocolate.

Until next time, space monkeys!

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episode forty-five: Who doesn’t love a decorative bunting?

Published September 13, 2020

It’s really late. The kind of late that keeps on getting later until it circles back round to early. When I’m this blurry and tired, I’m likely to say anything. Like how much more bearable life became on this ship with we busted Dr. Theo out of his pod. Geeky never looked so good….

See, now what did I say? Stop with the questions and the “oooo tell me everything” eyes. Dr. Theo is extremely fond of his personal space, and that’s all there is to it. So shut up. I’m going to bed.

TRANSCRIPT

David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae
Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily
Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer, Joe, and Howard
Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise and Ben
Kevin Hall as Greg
Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna
Richard Cowen as Leet
June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros
Iri Alexander as Julie
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Richard Nadolny as your Narrator,
and Kyle Jones, as Narrator 2.

Our music is composed and performed by John Faley. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

Thank you to our new sponsors, Intrigue Chocolate! Don’t forget to use code OZ9 at checkout for a 10% discount, until November 1, 2020.

STOP ASKING ABOUT DR. BROMAE. Until next week, Space Monkeys…!

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episode forty-four: It’s very hard to do science in this position

episode forty-four: It’s very hard to do science in this position

Published August 30, 2020

If you’ve been keeping up with the antics of that zany crew aboard the Oz 9-

Have you ever considered taking up a REAL hobby? Like stamps or shuffleboard or knitting quilts or something?

It’s episode 44, and no one is any smarter than they were 43 episodes ago, and that includes you, since your brain is no doubt deteriorating at a much faster clip than it would have if you’d done Sudoku or whatever it is instead.

Fine, go ahead and listen, ruin your life, see if I care! I tell you, I bust my butt for you kids, cooking, cleaning, writing show notes, you think this is easy?

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

David S Dear as Dr Theo Bromae
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna
Richard Cowen as Leet
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Iri Alexander as Julie
Kevin Hall as Felonius
Aaron Clark as Ben
June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros
Eric Perry as Dr von Haber Zetzer
with special guest Scottye Moore as the Guard, and
Richard Nadolny as your Narrator.

Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Our music is composed and performed by John Faley; our artwork is by Lucas Elliott.

Thanks to our new sponsor, Minucci Consulting. Our trailer this week is for the awesome DnD actual-play podcast Top of the Round!

And a special announcement: we’re inviting patrons to come along for a live read through with the cast of Oz 9 in October. If you’d like to be on the guest list, join our Patreon at any level. The live read through has limited spaces available, so don’t wait too long. Patreon.com/oz9podcast. Until next time, Space Monkeys!

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