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episode sixty-three: You are a naughty little schatziOz9 Podcast

episode sixty-three: You are a naughty little schatzi

Published October 24, 2021

BONUS CONTENT: Be sure you listen all the way to the end, for the most wonderful bit of silliness crafted by Sarah Golding, she of a million voices and even more talents. Sung(ish) by members of the cast, and arranged by Sarah, it’s hilarious and delightful. To find the lyrics, check out the transcript below!

You thought your job was hard, imagine being Narrator (or Narrator 2, really) for this boatload of Twinkies. (Which, incidentally have still not shown any signs of decomposition in 2142, just sayin’.)

If our Narrator makes it through his contract without developing a neurosis (or cirrhosis), well, it’s not our fault.

Avocado yogurt…. avocado yogurt….

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

Eric Perry as Joe and Dr von Haber Zetzer
David S Dear as Dr Theo Bromae
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Iri Alexander as Julie
June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros
Richard Nadolny as your Narrator, and
Kyle Jones as Narrator 2

Our music is by John Faley. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

Visit us on Twitter @oz9podcast or join our Patreon at patreon.com/Oz9podcast.

Until next time, Space Monkeys!

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episode sixty-two: I sent him a hippotigrusOz9 Podcast

episode sixty-two: I sent him a hippotigrus

Published October 23, 2021

It’s true many people complain that Oz 9 is not only NOT educational, it may in fact “leach information out of your brain as you listen.” (thanks, mom — real nice)

We beg to differ. Did you know zebras were once called “hippotigruses” (hippotigri? whatever)? Think of how much you’ve learned about plants and space and maths and fugu and Sweden!

Anyway, if we’re making you dumber, I think you know exactly what Olivia would have to say to that. Because that’s ANOTHER THING YOU LEARNED.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

Iri Alexander as Julie
Kevin Hall as Felonius
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Aaron Clark as Ben
Eric Perry as Mr Southers and Joe
Lee Shackleford as Pluto
David S Dear as Tiberius
Tim Sherburn as Colin, and
Richard Nadolny as your Narrator

Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott; our music is composed and performed by John Faley. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

If you’re enjoying the show, visit our website at Oz-9.com where you can find links to our merch stores, our comic book, and our Patreon.

We always appreciate a rate and review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser. Until next time, Space Monkeys!

Trailers courtesy of

Bunker Down from the makers of Marsfall
Elaine’s Cooking for the Soul

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episode sixty-one: The “tilslørte bondepiker” maneuverOz9 Podcast

episode sixty-one: The “tilslørte bondepiker” maneuver

Published September 22, 2021

LOOK. I never said it would be the MORNING of September 19, I just said it would be ON September 19, so I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.

It’s episode 61, and incredibly, it seems our crew might have actually lost some brain cells over the hiatus. I swear, if there’s a skull and crossbones on it, this crew wants to eat it, marry it, or at least put it in the garage next to something flammable.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie
David S Dear as Dr. Theo
Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer
Kevin Hall as Greg
Aaron Clark as Le Bichon Frise
Richard Cowen as Leet
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield & Henri
Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline
and Richard Nadolny as your Narrator.

Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott; our music is composed and performed by John Faley. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

Our comic book is nearly out! Keep an eye on @oz9podcast on Twitter and our Etsy store at etsy.com/shop/Oz9podcast.

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episode sixty: Your breath smells of caramel and butterscotch

episode sixty: Your breath smells of caramel and butterscotch

Published July 12, 2021

This one is a beast. Go to the bathroom, get some water, maybe load up on some snacks. Is your listening device charged? 

Get comfy. We have a lot to tell.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to:

Tim Sherburn as Colin, Buck, and Emily
Richard Cowen as Leet and Percival slash Tiberius
Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie
Eric Perry as Dr von Haber Zetzer, Howard, Joe, and Mr Southers
Shannon Perry as Olivia and Captain Madeline
Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise and Ben
June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros and Glenda
Kevin Hall as Greg and Felonius
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
David S. Dear as Dr Theo Bromae and Tiberius
Iri Alexander as Julie
Kyle Jones as Narrator 2
Lee Shackleford as Pluto

Special guest performances from:
Mignon Fogarty, the Grammar Girl, as herself
Beccy Stirrup as Sam, the Space Archivist
Scottye Moore as the Guard
Nikki Richardson as the Gated Galaxies Switchboard operator
Janis Westin as the Greyhound
The entire cast of that glorious podcast, Mission: Rejected

Huge thanks to our Music Man, John Faley; our artist extraordinaire, Lucas Elliott; our director, the incomparable June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

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episode fifty-nine: Quality control. Also, nibbles.Oz9 Podcast

episode fifty-nine: Quality control. Also, nibbles.

Published June 18, 2021

You’ve been awesome! No, really. I’d love to be able to reward your patience, but instead I just have an episode. I know it’s not much, but I made it myself. 

One more episode to close out the season: are you ready?

No. You’re not. Sorry, but you are SO not ready.

You’ve been listening to:

TRANSCRIPT

Lee Shackleford as Pluto
Kevin Hall as Felonius and Greg
Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie
Iri Alexander as Julie
Aaron Clark as Ben
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Mrs Sheffield as Mrs Arris
Eric Perry as Southers, Dr von Haber Zetzer and Howard
Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily
Richard Cowen as Leet
David S Dear as Dr. Theo and Tiberius
June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros
Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline
and Richard Nadolny as your Narrator. Also, as the microwave and fridge.

Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott; our theme music is by John Faley. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

Special thanks to Ann Sloan of the awesome Carlötta Beautox Chronicles podcast, for the Smoking Ruin cocktail idea!

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episode fifty-seven: But then I also say higgledy piggledyOz9 Podcast

episode fifty-seven: But then I also say higgledy piggledy

Published May 3, 2021

This episode begins with a funeral, so you might want to have tissues handy.

The production assistant was supposed to get hypo-allergenic flowers for the ceremony but managed to find hyper-allergenic ones, which don’t only make you sneeze, they cram themselves up your nose until you beg for mercy. 

The PA has been fwipped, so if you have even remotely appropriate experience, we’re hiring.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to…

Tim Sherburn as Colin
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna
Richard Cowen as Leet
Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
Eric Perry as Dr von Haber-Zetzer, Joe, and Mr Southers
June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros
David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae
Aaron Clark as Le Bichon Frise and Ben
Kevin Hall as Greg
Iri Alexander as Julie
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Lee Shackleford as Pluto
and Richard Nadolny as your Narrator

Our music is composed and performed by John Faley; our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

Until next time, Space Monkeys!

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episode fifty-six: Our future together is suddenly in doubt

episode fifty-six: Our future together is suddenly in doubt

Published April 28, 2021

I’m contractually obligated to tell you that we’re running a Kickstarter campaign to try to fund turning Oz 9 into a comic book. So please give us money, if you can, or tell other people to give us money. Or both. Thanks and whatever. (GOOD NEWS, WE’RE FUNDED!)

Here’s a surprise: Jessie doesn’t like comics. She says they’re too colourful and she’s never read one. I would have recommended she read them when she’s not in a bad mood, but maybe that’s what she’s already doing?

<

TRANSCRIPT

Anyway, you know the drill. You’ve been listening to these people. Gourd knows why.

Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
Richard Cowen as Leet
David S. Dear as Dr. Theo Bromaeeee…
June Clark Eubanks as the Albatros
Kevin Hall as Greg
Eric Perry as Dr von Haber-Zetzer and Joe
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Aaron Clark as Ben
Iri Alexander as Julie
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Richard Nadolny as your Narrator
and Kyle Jones as Narrator 2

Our artwork (which is also in the comic book, just sayin’) is by Lucas Elliott; our music is composed and performed by John Faley, except the MCCACEC fight song, which was composed and … lyricized? lyricked? by Sarah Golding. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

Until next time, Space Monkeys!

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Bonus episode: Mission: *FWIP*!Oz9 Podcast

Bonus episode: Mission: *FWIP*!

Published March 29, 2021

A rift in time and space causes four members of the Oz 9 crew to get pulled off the space ship (bringing the median IQ up a significant number of notches) and swapped with four members of the EMF (aaaaaaaaaaand we’re back to where we were, IQ-wise).

This is part two of a special two-part crossover with the frankly hilarious secret agent comedy, Mission: Rejected. If you haven’t heard part one yet, stop, put us on pause, go out, listen to part 1 on the Mission: Rejected feed, come back, take us off pause, because from this moment forward….

I’d say “spoilers,” but let’s face it… it’s mostly nonsense. 

Be sure to listen to the fantastic comedy being dished up at Mission: Rejected (https://missionrejected.simplecast.com/). You won’t regret it. Much.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to: (In alphabetical order)

Ashley Banks as Athena O’Brien
Pete Barry as Kristatos O’Brien
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie
Aaron Clark as Le Bichon Frise
Richard Cowen as Leet
J. Michael DeAngelis as Larry Hastings
David S. Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae
Faith Dowgin as Section Chief Zelda Anders
John Dowgin as Dr. Biff Studebaker
June Clark Eubanks as The Albatros
Sarah Golding as Mrs. Sheffield
Kevin Hall as Greg
Jill Ivey as the Western Union Woman
Bob Killion as The Admiral and Orin
Chris Klaniecki as Skip Granger
Paige Klaniecki as Gloria Kovak
Eric Perry as Doctor von Haber Zetzer and Joe
Shannon Perry as Olivia, Madeline, and Dr. Pickle
Dave Sanger as Bowden Montcrief
Nazli Sarpkaya as Mackenzie McGrath
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Kirk White as Chet Phillips
Karen Yang as Dr. Karol Legrange
with Richard Nadolny as your Narrator
and Kevin McGrath as The Mission Voice

Our music was by Pete Barry and John Faley. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks and J. Michael DeAngelis. (Do all podcast directors have three names?)

This episode was written by Shannon Perry, Pete Barry, J. Michael DeAngelis and John Dowgin. Sound mixing and editing was by Pete Barry. Mission Rejected is written and produced by Pete Barry, J. Michael DeAngelis, and John Dowgin. Oz-9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

Sound effect attributions below. All other sound effects by Pete Barry (https://freesound.org/people/PeteBarry/) and Shannon Perry. 

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episode fifty-five: Monkey Man, gather the sweetsOz9 Podcast

episode fifty-five: Monkey Man, gather the sweets

Published March 23, 2021

OK, OK, yes, it’s late AGAIN. We know. We’ve been having a really rough time lately, the kids are sick, the roof caved in when we had that thunderstorm last week, and then there was that other thing….

No, you’re right. None of that is true. Our alarm is a bored dude just saying “alarm alarm alarm” over and over, so clearly this is not a well-financed, slick-and-professional thing we’ve got going here. 

Throw some money at our Patreon or Kofi, and maybe we can talk about maintaining a schedule. It won’t happen, but we can talk.

TRANSCRIPT

You’ve been listening to…
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
Lee Shackleford as Pluto
Iri Alexander as Julie
Aaron Clark as Ben
Bonnie Brantley as Donna
Richard Cowen as Tiberius
Kevin Hall as Felonius
Eric Perry as Mr. Southers,
and Richard Nadolny as your Narrator.

Our music is composed and performed by John Faley. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.

Our next episode is extra special, and we’re super excited to bring it to you. Plus, someone else is doing the production, so it’ll probably be on time!

Until then, Space Monkeys!

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